EroticMadScience.com

It’s a shame to have to lose so poetic an old industrial structure as the Weidegold Brewery.

(Click on the image for larger size.
Apsinthion Protocol Chapter Seven, Page Twenty-One written and commissioned by Dr. Faustus of EroticMadScience.com and drawn by Lon Ryden is published under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.)

You know, when I started a site called Erotic Mad Science I’m pretty sure I would not have predicted that within seven months of starting there would be at least four posts tagged “washing machine.”  Shows how little I know.

As best I can tell, it’s a British commercial for a mobile phone provider in the UK.

I’m not sure this has all that much to do with anything, but I spotted it today and just had to post it.

The link (click through for larger image) indicates that it is “Master of the Seas,” by RAFAELGALLUR.  The male figure reminds me of Santo (the masked Mexican wrestler-hero, not El Santo, the awesome movie reviewer, though the latter would be cool).

I guess there could be a Gnosis College link, although it isn’t obvious yet.  I have recently started work on a story that involves the adventures of Edith Sterling, a teuthologist at Gnosis who’s having trouble getting tenure…so there’s a definite octopus linkage going on.  But that’s a story for another time.

Hat tip on this one to PZ Myers at Pharyngula.

Sorry if productivity has been a little bit on the low side over the past few days, but even mad scientists have to take some time to prepare their taxes, and I’m sure you all know what that’s like.

The agents of the taxation authorities get all shirty when you try to explain the depreciation schedule on your matter tranmogrifier or deductions for plutonium expenses, so doing things right is a big deal.

But fear not.  More material soon…

My blogfather Bacchus over at ErosBlog has a long and distinguished tradition of using his blog to make fun of clueless and otherwise problematical marketing emails he receives in his role of master of ErosBlog.  So it gives me particular pleasure to be the recipient, just today, of one of the same.

Now I must confess that this one wasn’t particularly awful, at least by the hilariously-awful standards of some that Bacchus has written about, but still it left me wondering “do you folks ever look, for like five or ten seconds maybe, at the sites you’re sending mail to?”

After an introduction to “Dear EMS,” our intrepid publicity person — let’s call her Casting Lady — explains that she is the casting assistant for a new television series (guess that’s my punishment for putting up screenplays) and inquires:

Wondering if you might be able to help further broadcast our current casting search to your fans and subscriber base? 

Well, I’m certainly not anti-commerce or anti-entertainment, and given how hard it is to get a break in acting, I suppose that if I knew of anyone in the EroticMadScience universe who I could help hook up with a job, I would certainly want to help out, but reading on I find out that

We’re looking for women who are struggling with an intimacy addiction and are trying to maintain their “perfect image” on a daily basis.

I’m sure you have a ton of questions

A few maybe, such as

• When it comes to intimacy issues, are you interested only in women who are into intimacy only with other human beings, or do passionate relationships with with alien tentacle beasts count as well? and;
• What about women who effortlessly maintain their “perfect images” on a really permanent basis?

Unfortunately the website to which the Casting Lady directed me (sorry, I won’t link because I don’t believe in encouraging marketing cluelessness) wasn’t terribly enlightening.  There I was cheekily asked

Do you have a secret addiction or obsession that’s forcing you to live a double life? We want to know your stories.

Wow!  Do I ever have a manifesto for you guys to read!  Oh, wait…guess you couldn’t be bothered the first time.

Imagine living your picture-perfect life. By day, you are a beautiful, talented and ambitious 20-something. But at night, everything changes— you give in to temptation, to the dark side of yourself. You keep your secret from co-workers, family and friends. You enjoy the duality and the excitement that accompanies your obsession but you do know, it’s a dangerous game.

From context I think they mean beautiful, talented, etc. 20-something women, although perhaps I’m wrong about this.  I don’t think so, though, because that’s all that seems to be depicted in the pictures on their page.

Well ladies and gentlemen,  I think you can pretty well infer than I’m not a 20-something woman.  Intelligent and sensitive people in command of all the relevant facts can disagree in good faith about how beautiful, talented, and ambitious I am.  (That I am obsessive we can all agree, yes?)  But unless Vinnie Tesla manages to get that ol’ Ontological Engine all cranked up, I don’t have much prospect of becoming a 20-something Ultra Babe with a Dark Secret, not that that might not be fun.

Seriously, marketers.  Have a look at the damn site before you email.  Or I really will have to mock you openly…

To all gentle readers, a happy and prosperous Year of the Tiger!

Allow me to take a moment, if I may, to express my gratitude to Bacchus at ErosBlog for his very generous introduction of  EroticMadScience.  I would blush, if that were the sort of thing I were prone to.  Certainly Bacchus’s kind words put a little spring in my step!

And to all of you who have followed his link, welcome!